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It is inevitable that Sen. Joe Biden and Gov. Sarah Palin, the vice presidential candidates at the debate in St. Louis on Thursday, October 2, will be asked about (1) the economy (2) the war in Iraq and (3) our foreign affairs relationships, in general, since they are in such disarray. On the subject of the economy, let's hope that Sarah Palin doesn't respond as she did when asked if she was up to the challenge of managing the budget of Wasilla, Alaska, as Mayor, back in 1996. Back then, according to the September 28th Chicago Tribune, she said, "It's not rocket science. It's $6 million dollars and 53 employees." I can hear her now: "It's not rocket science. It's only $3.1 trillion dollars and gazillion employees. Oh. And the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marine Corps. But it's really about Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae and getting jobs back in the country." There will be no specifics of how any of this might be achieved, which has seemed characteristic of the entire Republican platform this season. "Saturday Night Live" will have material for months. Palin's best response might be to echo her running mate, John McCain, who openly admitted, "I don't know much about the economy." My biggest fear regarding the Iraq War is that Joe Biden---who really does have extensive knowledge of the foreign affairs situation after something like 27 years on the job---will become typically longwinded in responding, leaving an opening for Palin to use the response she gave during her ABC interview with Charles Gibson, "But it's about change, Charlie." (This response will have nothing at all to do with the question asked, but get used to it, audience.) She may select some other non sequitur with which to answer. (Hopefully, she will have learned how to pronounce the name of the President of Iran, which will be more than can be said for her running mate.) On foreign affairs, in general, Sarah Palin, who only got a passport last year, can be expected to know literally nothing. She might try that familiar refrain, "Russia is our next-door neighbor" again, but it's so patently ridiculous that I'll go out on a limb and make a prediction that she won't want to set herself up as the butt of more "Saturday Night Live" Tina Fey impressions, but, instead, will resort to new material crafted for her by Republican strategists. Whatever Palin says will involve wrapping herself in the flag, talking about John McCain's war service and insisting that that makes him the most qualified man for the presidency, and mentioning her deep faith and God at least every 10 minutes. This is the only effective arrow in the Republican quiver: McCain's legitimate record as one (of many) heroic POWs. There is a slim chance that Palin will pull a Hillary and claim some sort of experience that she really didn't have, as when Hillary talked about landing in an aircraft in Afghanistan while under fire. This will need to be fact-checked later, so she will get away with claiming something outrageous without fear of contradiction, unless the moderator is on top of things, as I hope he/she will be. Whatever Palin says on any topic will sound like a Minnesota native ("Yah, Sure, You betcha'), frequently cite God and the heroic war service of John McCain and will have almost nothing to do with the real problems facing the country. Her responses will offer no specifics of how the Republicans, under her leadership and that of ex-POW John McCain, would get us out of the mess the last 8 years have gotten us in to. There will also be lots of claims that the Democrats are going to tax everyone, while the Republicans are going to give you bundles of cash and 8 more years of the kind of prosperity we've all experienced under George W. Bush. [If you can stand that, economically, you're a stronger---and richer--- citizen than I am.] At some point, if Biden seems to be scoring points with a good slogan or retort, you can assume that the Republican opponent will try to co-opt it to use it as her own, the "change" mantra being a case in point. I predict a lot of animated hand gestures, a result of her experience as a sports reporter on television and her credentials in Journalism from the University of Idaho, which, of course, is the foremost U.S. collegiate authority on budget, foreign relations and other assorted issues. And if you don't think that Idaho is much of a school, how about Matanuska-Susitna College, which Palin attended in the fall of 1985? Biden will smile his very large shark-like smile a lot and will sound intense, as he always does. Joe knows a lot and he wants you to know he knows a lot. He will need to try not to over talk. He will have to be careful not to appear condescending towards his know-nothing opponent, despite the overpowering temptation to make mincemeat out of her. Biden may have to spell some words for Palin or explain what "the Bush doctrine" is, since Palin did not know of it during a recent interview. Perhaps Biden could make up a phonetic pronunciation list of world leaders, in advance, and bring a pointer. Palin had never met a national leader until last week, while Biden faced down Slobodan Milosivec in his heyday and likes to mention how he called him a "war criminal" to his face. Palin will have to try very hard not to nod off during the lengthy monologues that Biden will be tempted to make, especially since she will not know most of the names he will mention. She'll have that glazed-over look of a deer caught in the headlights, or the bored look of undergraduates who sit in the back of the room during a calculus lecture. After the debate is over and Palin has been revealed as the airhead she has seemed in her few (2 or 3) public outings (versus 84 for Biden), the Republicans will claim that Senator Joseph Biden was somehow mean to his female opponent, and will play "the gender card." I would love to hear the line, "I knew Hillary Clinton, and you, Madam, are no Hillary Clinton," but I don't think that is going to happen. However, I can hardly wait to hear the rest of the debate. I just hope that the gaffe group gets Joe's tongue under control and his foot firmly out of his mouth and makes sure that he gives appropriate credit for every quote he may use. As for Palin, I hope she giggles her way into America's heart and is cast in the remake of "Gidget." If that doesn't work out for her, there's always the Frances McDormand role in a sequel to "Fargo." One thing is for sure: This one's gonna be good. |
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